- Recognise your fear and learn to deal with it
- Control your fear by controlling your reactions to it
- Regain your confidence
Virtually all negative emotions are based on fear. Fear is our most primal emotion and one that a great many people feel, to a greater or lesser extent, every single day. We have around 30 names for different types of fear, and many more slang words: anxiety, dread, panic, alarm, terror, dismay and so on.
Two types of fear
However, there really are only two types of fear you need to be aware of. These two affect your mind and body in completely different ways. They are related to the two complementary forces of yin and yang. Understand these and you can learn to recognise and deal with the effects they have on you. All the different types of fear will trigger one or other of these reactions.
Upward (yang) fear
The upward fear of panic
Upward fear is what happens to you when you are suddenly placed in a situation that you consider dangerous. We often call this panic. According to qi energy theory your energy rises up your body into your head when you panic. Whether or not you believe in qi theory it certainly explains the effects of upward fear. We know that when we panic we make upward movements. Our hands fly up towards our face, We can literally jump with fright. This is what happens when you are under extreme duress and your energy rises:
- Your energy starts moving up your legs leaving them feeling weak and empty. They lack any kind of power and may start to shake
- Your energy rises up through your abdomen and up into your chest. It becomes impossible for you to breathe fully using your diaphragm so your breathing gets higher and higher up in your chest leaving you breathless and lacking oxygen
- The energy goes up into your head. It prevents you from thinking clearly so you cannot put together any plan of action. It also gives you tunnel vision so you cannot see what is in your periphery. This makes you vulnerable to attacks from the side.
- You are left as a shaking wreck, unable to move, unable to breathe and unable to think clearly. You have become the perfect victim.
Root your yang fear
The answer to upward fear is to learn to stay rooted. Learn to develop a powerful stance and practice it until it becomes second nature. It’s also vital to keep some of your attention in your body, particularly in your legs and feet. As soon as you lose mental contact with your body then your body will be out of control and the symptoms above will immediately kick in. Learn to deal with fear by doing the following:
- Keep at least part of your focus on your legs and feet. This is the most important thing of all. It will prevent the upward rush of energy and keep your legs strong so that you can move quickly and easily should you need to do so. Also remember to keep your knees bent or at least soft.
- Breathe slowly into your abdomen. This has the two major effects. A few full inhalations will make sure you have enough oxygen and other resources to feed your muscles should you need them. And each exhalation will help you release fear and tension, dropping your energy downwards and boosting your ability to stay relaxed in the face of danger.
Remember: if you’re in a position where you may be under attack then your biggest opponent is yourself
Don’t ruin your chances of surviving the ordeal unscathed by allowing your body to fall to pieces just when you need it to be working efficiently. Practice keeping your focus on your feet at least a part of every day. Make abdominal breathing your default breathing practice. Don’t rely on these techniques to work if you haven’t practiced them.
Downward (yin) fear
Downward fear isn’t as serious as upward fear. It happens when there is something that we know is coming up and we’re anxious about. We often call it dread. That dreaded job interview, the dreaded parents evening, the dreaded meeting with your boss etc. Relationships can be torn apart by fear. Usually it is a fear of loss of a key part of your identity that is at the root of relationship fear.
This is almost always yin fear unless you are suddenly confronted with your partner in a compromising situation or other such shock. in relationships its crucial to communicate your fear. This can be very hard but the tips below will give you the strength to open up to your partner about your fears.
Downward fear has the opposite effect to upward fear. Basically your energy sinks instead of rising. This has the effect of making you feel very heavy and lethargic. This gets worse as the event looms closer. You barely have the energy to lift yourself out of the seat let alone get changed and go along to that horrible meeting. This can be a hard one to fight but remember again that the more energy you can keep inside yourself then the more resources you will have to deal with whatever difficult situation you’re trying to avoid. Consider these tips:
- It’s very rare I say this but try opening up your chest and breathing into it. This will make you feel lighter and lift your centre of gravity.
- Don’t focus on what is the worse that could happen as many other sources advise. Instead ask yourself what is the best that could happen. Focus on some positive things you could take from this experience. Many would say that focusing on positive things is more likely to make them come true. I know it works for me. Sometimes you realise that this could could come with a big silver lining should things go according to plan. Now you’re almost looking forward to it.
- Remember situations are never, ever as bad as you imagine they might be. So practice your whole body smile and let it carry you through the situation.
Find out more about traditional Chinese philosophies and exercises to develop a relaxed and powerful body and a focused mind through the tai chi and kung fu classes I run or sign up to our site to learn the wealth of material we have here.